I am often asked by my followers to address dating and marriage relationships. I believe the most destructive issue that these relationships can face is a betrayal. My latest poem is about the betrayed and the betrayer. Betrayal in relationships can damage us deeply to the core. Often, there can be no repair or healing. The only healthy way a couple can survive is with God at the center of their relationship. A two-legged stool cannot stand, but a three-legged stool can stand strong without falling. When we look to God and grow closer to Him, we grow closer to each other as a couple. God then becomes the healing presence.
For love to persist after betrayal, pride must give way to humility. Humility prevents shaming of the other party. You see, guilt keeps one from repeating a harmful act, but shame damages. When remorse and amends are greeted with mercy and forgiveness, there can be restitution and restoration of love in a relationship. Though this type of restitution might seem impossible for man, it is not impossible with God. Therefore, we turn to Him for our strength and fortitude to keep love alive.
I wrote the poem "Betrayal" with these thoughts in mind.
To know the hurt and the pain
The feeling of going and staying insane
Actors of charades on both sides
Living and breathing in the shadows of disguise
Fearing discovery will be the cause of permanent demise
The searing brand remains on a lost heart
Wounds, scars, hurt from going too far
Picking or choosing, can destroy both sides
Severed promises covered by loathsome lies
Must now be willing to say forever goodbyes
Lessons learned, but way too late
Lasting actions can seal the future's fate
Hearts left scattered and all broken
Lust and desire were the mere tokens
So many thoughts, words left unspoken
Souls once bound then forever torn
Enduring coffins sealed with scorn
Too many traumatic bridges left to mend
Trying and trying, but all pretend
It seems impossible, no one can win
The torture and memories persist and last
Trepidation and penalties have been cast
Imprints lasting in cement from sand
Intimacy so close like a glove on a hand
The dice are rolled, unknown how they will land
Secrets and deceit, leading to defeat
Two hearts that can never again meet
Betrayal deep into our core it seeps
Causing our inner spirit to die and weep
The lover's lover lives on, but not to keep
Pride can instill lasting shame and guilt
Blocking forgiveness and trust from being rebuilt
Only with God can once promised unions be restored
Otherwise they will remain closed, shut, hollow doors
Then the former love dies and will be no more....
-Dr. Rhonda Milner
"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."
"a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,"
"For no word from God will ever fail.”
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9